Funny thing about me. I’ve really never had any problems sleeping. I mean, through my teen years, I was practically the poster boy for sleeping in. It was amazing how much sleep I could get. I mean, outside of a few teenage boners, some drama with cigarettes and a deep feeling for girls lacrosse, I really remember very little from my teen life outside of sleeping. Those were some long days, friends. Before the Internet. Back when I spent a ton of time saying, “I’m SOOOO bored” to pretty much anyone who would listen. I spent a lot of time watching Miami Vice, thinking it was the coolest thing ever.
Ok, so I was often wrong about things. It was the 80s, man!
Those Long Nights
So I find myself in a situation in which the longest part of any date is the night. I find that I am waking up inappropriately at all hours of the night and it seems like my brain just cannot stop. Now I am actually doing research and finding out that things like calcium and magnesium actually help you with your insomnia. I also discover the sleeping pill the really the bane of my existence and actually only end up making me very eager to go and quite stupid for quite a good period of time, frankly.
But what I never really understood as somebody who has been a bachelor for a long time is that I actually do have a pretty serious problem: I’m talking about snoring. I realized that this was the issue that was because for all of these that I woke up thinking that I really didn’t get a decent rest, even though the amount of time passed seem to be evidence of the fact that I did get some sleep.
So now I find myself actually doing research on things like snoring mouthpieces and even checking out reviews on something called the SnoreLess pillow. What? Who, me? Well, I have been told that my sleeping place in my bedroom will no longer be reserved if I cannot quiet down. My wife hold the keys, and I certainly don’t really have the power to take them from her. So, I’m actually reading a lot of articles on sleep apnea and snoring and trying to figure out what kind of exercises I can do so that I no longer sound like a 1970 Dodge Challenger with no muffler when I’m sleeping.
The Curious Case Of The Snore
One of the things that strikes me as very strange about snoring is that it is one of those things that you could live alone with for the rest of your life and never really know what was wrong. I mean, there are those people who have serious heart problems and need things like a CPAP machine, but I tend to think that those people are more frequent than anything. Most people just have a relatively small snoring problem and frankly just need something like a pillow in order to quiet them down. I hope that I’m one of those people, because I can tell you that lately sleeping has been difficult enough as it is without knowing that I have a problem here.
If this makes any sense, I am actually sleeping because I am spending too much time thinking about my sleeping problem. It makes me wonder just how many people are thinking the same thing I am. Freaky.